|
- Do you worry about how much someone else’s drinking?
- Do you have money problems because of someone else’s
drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s
drinking?
- Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop
drinking to please you?
- Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her
companions?
- Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed
because of the drinker?
- Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking,
I’ll leave you”?
- Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
- Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a
drinking bout?
- Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s
behavior?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of
drinking?
- Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of
abuse?
- Do you search for hidden alcohol?
- Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been
drinking?
- Have you refused social invitations out of fear or
anxiety?
- Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the
lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
- Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your
other problems would be solved?
- Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the
drinker?
- Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the
time?
- Do you feel there is no one who understands your
problems?
If you answered yes to some of these questions,
Al‑Anon may be able to help you. A good place to
start is a Beginners’ Meeting.
Alcoholism is a family disease – those of us who have lived with
this disease as children sometimes have problems which the Al-Anon
program can help us to resolve. These 20 questions are designed to
help you decide whether you need Al‑Anon Adult Children. Find out
more about
alcoholism.
- Do you constantly seek approval and
affirmation?
- Do you fail to recognize your
accomplishments?
- Do you fear criticism?
- Do you over extend yourself?
- Have you had problems with your own compulsive
behavior?
- Do you have a need for perfection?
- Are you uneasy when your life is going
smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
- Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
- Do you still feel responsible for others, as
you did for the problem drinker in your life?
- Do you care for others easily, yet find it
difficult to care for yourself?
- Do you isolate yourself from other people?
- Do you respond with fear to authority figures
and angry people?
- Do you feel that individuals and society in
general are taking advantage of you?
- Do you have trouble with intimate
relationships?
- Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with
the problem drinker?
- Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to
be compulsive and abusive?
- Do you cling to relationships because you are
afraid of being alone?
- Do you mistrust your own feelings and the
feelings expressed by others?
- Do you find it difficult to identify and
express your emotions?
- Do you think parental drinking may have
affected you?
If you answered yes to some of these questions,
Al‑Anon Adult Children may be able to help you. A good
place to start is a Beginners’ Meeting.
Alateen is for young people whose lives have been affected by
someone else’s drinking. The following 20 questions are to
help you decide whether Alateen is for you. Find out more about
alcoholism.
- Do you have a parent, close friend or relative
whose drinking upsets you?
- Do you cover up your real feelings by
pretending that you don’t care?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of
drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone
else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
- Do you stay out of the house as much as
possible because you hate it there?
- Are you afraid to upset someone or fear it
will set off a drinking bout?
- Do you feel nobody really loves you or cares
what happens to you?
- Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your
friends home?
- Do you think the drinker’s behavior is caused
by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks
in life?
- Do you make threats such as, “If you don’t
stop drinking, fighting, I’ll run away?”
- Do you make promises about behavior, such as,
“I’ll get better school marks, go to church or keep my room
clean” in exchange for a promise that the fighting and drinking
will stop?
- Do you feel that if your mom or dad loved you,
he or she would stop drinking?
- Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself
to scare your parents into saying “I’m sorry,” or “I love
you?”
- Do you believe no one could possibly
understand how you feel?
- Do you have money problems because of someone
else’s drinking?
- Are mealtimes frequently delayed because of
the drinker?
- Have you considered calling the police because
of the drinker’s abusive behavior?
- Have you refused dates out of fear or
anxiety?
- Do you think your problems would be solved if
the drinking stopped?
- Do you ever treat people (teachers,
schoolmates, teammates, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at
someone else for drinking too much?
If you answered yes to some of these questions,
Alateen may be able to help you. There are meetings in both
the Minneapolis
and St. Paul
areas.
Reprinted with permission, Al‑Anon Family Group
Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Updated October 7, 2013
|
|